Well, Today was a good productive day, saw a cousin and put him to work moving a piece of furniture out of my boudoir, ran several errands and now I will be able to continue on with life as I know it, I'm all paid up. On the way home from these errands my Lil' baby girl decides to have a screaming fit, I know surprise, surprise. The thing is that this time it struck as we were driving. So we sat with that screeching till we were almost home but the sound escalated to that 3 alarm fire siren I am oh so fond of, I had to pull over. Luckily we were near a park and so we pulled in to give her and my nerves a break.
The park was lovely and wierd all at the same time. I've never quite noticed it in this light before. There were children on the playground, a music function under the gazebo's, a study group of some sort measuring the ground (I don't know), people lounging on the cool grass in the shade soaking up the fresh air. Normal right, wrong what I failed to mention is the unusually large group of icky and rowdy bums. I don't mean to be rude. I do realize the park is for everyone and I know what it is like to not have a lot of money, but it was like some sort of bum convention. There were like 15+ bums chilling, smoking, drinking, chummin' it up and taking up the whole side walk with their shopping carts, bikes, bags, and what not. Wierd! Its like the dark warning you see in those generic movies in grade school about "stranger danger" that we all laughed at. But they were really there and it just looked really out of place because the children weren't very far away and the bums frequented the restroom right next to the playground while children went to the bathroom unattended. Where were there parent's I wondered.
Come to think of it may be it wasn't them, gasp! Maybe it was me. I was in fact trying to soothe a lil baby, and it was my first time nursing on the grass in front of the whole world, watching everyone at the park with suspicious eyes. I wonder if this is what Motherhood is... constant paranoia...who's watching me, what are they thinking and constant worry...will I ever be ok with letting Zoey play at the park with this dark presence, will I ever let her go alone when she is 10-12 years old, will I be the dark presence watching her with her friends from behind the bushes in case something happens. Sheesh! I feel like someone turned on the neighbourhood watch in side me. I have a new keen sense of "stranger dangerism" alarms going off at random. No one told me of the head trips I would be having, I wonder how long this lasts? I must say aside from all that it was a nice day at the park.
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